Caitlyn and Marlee ponder the menu looking for the perfect dish. Photograph by Sahir Khan
Caitlyn and Marlee at a Best Buddies picnic on the LSU Parade Ground in November. Photograph courtesy of Caitlyn Louviere
by EMILY SLACK
Legacy - LSU's Student Magazine
Imagine never having contact with anyone besides your parent or guardian in your entire lifetime. For half of all intellectually handicapped people, this is a harsh reality. Caitlyn Louviere and the LSU chapter of Best Buddies are working to eliminate this reality.
Louviere serves as president of the University’s chapter of Best Buddies, an international program dedicated to providing one-on-one friendships between members of the community and locals with intellectual and developmental disabilities.
The organization was started in 1989 by Anthony Kennedy Shriver in an effort to improve living conditions for the intellectually disabled. According to its Web site, Best Buddies has an impact on about 400,000 individuals a year. Louviere took over the presidency of the LSU chapter a year ago, revamping the club from a small organization that only had six to eight matched buddies to a force in the community that boasts about 48 matched buddies.
“It’s funny because I never thought the club would be my life, but it has, and it’s a great thing,” Louviere said. Louviere first met her buddy Marlee Richterman at one of the club’s match parties, where college buddies meet their intellectually disabled buddy for the first time. Since their meeting, Louviere and Marlee have kept up a now two-year long relationship that Louviere says is “just like any real friendship.”
Once college buddies get matched with a handicapped buddy, they are required to meet up with their buddy twice a month, and call them once a week. The friendships between buddies usually grow beyond the minimum requirements, Louviere said. “It’s really cool when [college buddies] are proud of what their buddy has accomplished.”
“The handicapped buddies develop social skills to be treated as equals when they are friends with people that don’t have disabilities … when you combine the two, they learn so much from each other,” said Tiffany Rutledge, state director of Best Buddies Louisiana.
Marlee and Louviere often go out to eat, watch movies, communicate through Facebook and speak over the phone every night. “She just makes me happier – I don’t know where I’d be without her,” said Louviere. Marlee’s mother and doctors are unsure of what exactly Marlee’s condition is, but Louviere says her condition doesn’t prevent her from doing what she wants in life. “[The handicapped buddies] have something special about them just like everyone else does, and they may not be as good in other areas, but then, neither am I.”
Just like any other friendship, Marlee and Louviere’s has its ups and downs. When she first met Marlee, the biggest obstacle to overcome was Marlee’s naturally introverted nature, and Louviere initially found it hard to get Marlee to open up to her. “I realized that she really wanted to open up to me when her primary care doctor she knew since birth had died, and she called me crying,” Louviere said. Marlee’s mother apologized to Louviere, thinking Marlee had perhaps startled her, but said Marlee had only wanted to talk to Louviere about her grief.
“One thing I realized is that [Best Buddies] breaks [intellectually handicapped people] out of their shell,” Louviere said. Besides the club’s monthly meetings, Best Buddies also organizes special events such as a prom, a Valentine’s Day party, a Halloween party and the annual fundraiser Midnight Madness, a mission-based challenge in which buddies and chapter members complete tasks to raise money. Marlee doesn’t always socialize with the other buddies, but Louviere says she loves to dance and the Best Buddies prom helped Marlee interact and connect with the others in the group.
The most important aspect of the mentally handicapped community is that they are just like everyone else, Louviere said. “The biggest problem [facing the mentally handicapped community] is that people are afraid to interact with them. For the most part, it isn’t that people are trying to disrespect them. They’re just uncomfortable and don’t know what to say. The reality is that [the mentally handicapped] want to be treated like everyone else. They want to have the same conversations, they want to pay at the cash register at the grocery store, they don’t want people to finish their sentences when they stutter – they want to be independent.”
Lori Moore, program supervisor of Best Buddies Louisiana, stresses breaking down preconceived notions people may have about the mentally handicapped community.
“There’s such a stigma [about mentally handicapped people], and [Best Buddies] is trying to break down that barrier,” she said. Moore says mentally handicapped people are typically babied or treated like they aren’t capable of understanding or completing a task. “It’s not OK [to treat them differently]. The only way to learn social skills is to be treated as equals.”
Best Buddies retains a strict one-on-one policy between buddies, and buddies are supposed to get a new buddy at the beginning of every year. When she took over the club presidency, Louviere was unaware of the policy and has been Marlee’s buddy for two years. She, along with other club members who have maintained two-year relationships with their buddies, isn’t excited about the prospect of switching buddies after becoming so close with the buddy she knows so well. “Some buddies are really friendly and open up easily, but I worry about Marlee and buddies like Marlee. I’m worried about her going back into her shell.”
Maintaining the relationship with a handicapped buddy is not always easy for a college student. Louviere says the busy college schedule causes members to cancel with their buddies indefinitely, sometimes without telling Louviere.
“A lot of college kids get busy and have to tell me that they have to drop their buddy, but sometimes they don’t even let me know. I sat down and called all the buddies’ parents, and some of them hadn’t even met with their buddy more than once. What I try to reinforce is to say that it’s volunteer work – this isn’t a house or a vegetable garden; these are real people,” Louviere said.
Louviere plans to maintain her relationship with Marlee even after they switch buddies because Marlee helps keep Louviere grounded. “As a pre-med student at LSU, I’m a worry-wart and I sometimes call Marlee, and when she asks what’s wrong, and I say that I’m tired, she responds, ‘Hi Tired, I’m Marlee,’ and right away I start feeling better.”
After graduation, Louviere plans to attend medical school in New Orleans, but knows this will be harder to see Marlee as much as she does now. In the meantime, Louviere knows Marlee has changed her entire college experience for the better.
“Best Buddies in general has changed my perspective,” Louviere said. “I never looked down on people with disabilities, but I never saw them as able. [Best Buddies] has allowed me to see how very able they actually are.”
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